March 2025 ~ Full Moon
I will keep this relatively brief.
Last Friday, I waited at a venue in Glasgow for my son Jake to arrive to help with the PA as he was going to crew his first OF workshop. Out of the blue, instead of Jake arriving, I received a phone call from a stranger, on Jake's phone, saying he'd had a bicycle accident (no one else was involved), and an ambulance was on its way. Please come.
Oooff.
Hard.
Scary.
Decisions...
Finish bringing in the PA? Drop everything to go straight to the scene of the accident?
Later in A&E - cancel the workshop, hand the workshop over to my assistants, or go and teach?
The next day at the workshop, keep my personal life contained and not mention what I was holding in the background or let the group know, and lean into what was happening as a teaching opportunity?
Time passed...
On Tuesday we heard that despite his 2 fractured vertebrae, 3 lots of stitches on his face and a broken tooth, his spinal cord and ligaments were intact, his fractures were stable and he didn't need surgery. Wow... how to take in this immense good news in the light of all the challenging days, weeks and months that lie ahead?
More decisions...
For me, lay the question of how many more days do I stay? Or do I go home, make way for his housemates, and friends (and for sister Kezia to continue) to step in closer, and wake up in my bed on my 59th birthday?
Non-stop dilemmas. This or that? Now or later? Offer or wait?
So much waiting... So much unknown...
One of the things that supported me was this quote I read at the workshop (theme 'Beyond Polarities') I taught on Saturday:
“Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in-between state. It’s the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than buy into struggle and complaint. The challenge is to let it soften us rather than make us more rigid and afraid. Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere only makes our hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the middle, compassion arises spontaneously. By not knowing, not hoping to know, and not acting like we know what’s happening, we begin to access our inner strength.”
I'm so grateful for my practices that resourced me through these long days and nights, and will continue to do so
For all the love and prayers that have flowed towards the whole family
For Jake's resilience that is supporting him through these extremely challenging times (I asked his permission before mentioning him in this newsletter)
For the AMAZING staff at Glasgow Queen Elizabeth University Hospital (NHS) - Wow, what support
For Kathy Altman, who created the Dragon's Gate score, which was the foundation of the workshop I taught, and was so helpful for me and the group in these times of profound polarisation.
These are the moments and places where we find agency, and have choice and influence.
You can view the rest of my March full moon newsletter here.